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Marriage versus Freedom

“Are you married?” I asked her.

“Come on, it is too early.”

You would have sensed no hesitation in Sonam Saday’s response. It has been quite a while since we walked away from each other’s lives. But when our fate threw us together once again last month at one of the street corners in Thimphu, we tried to pretend as if nothing had ever happened between us. The acting was perfect I thought, even Tshering Wangyel would have said ‘yes, yes’. But no one would have realized there were thousands of thoughts crossing our minds that moment.

“But what about the future plan?” a bold question indeed, but why do I have to worry about her future? It was none of my business. And I didn’t want to appear as if I was hinting at something. I just asked her to keep conversation flowing. Did she know that?

“You see, once you marry, you have no freedom. So, it is important that I enjoy,” she justified being single. “At least two or three years’ time is must before you marry.” And this was the same girl who wanted to marry me when we were teenagers. Many obstacles decided against us. But if we had listened to our emotions and married then, would she still think marrying me is a loss of her freedom? Now I wonder.

Is marriage a loss of personal freedom? Is it synonymous with bondage? Do married people lose privacy? Or is marriage a necessary devil, as some people may call it?

There are three types of men – disorganized, married and unmarried. The first category of men consists of disorganized young bachelors who claim complete freedom and privacy. The second category composes of two types of men – satisfied and dissatisfied men. The former think their lives are better off when there is someone to share problems while the latter see their wives as enemies to their happiness. The third category includes unhappy unmarried men, whose better portion of lives was spent chasing the so called personal freedom. And now they bang their heads on the walls, feeling low and lonely.

I want a wife real soon, but I still like being single.

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